New in Town
by EvenstarRoses
Summary: More often then naught a person finds themselves falling into Middle Earth but what if that situation reversed and the fellowship fell into Earth? Krystin didn't expect to wake up and find Aragorn and Legolas in her barn and she never thought she'd save Boromir from a pissed off bull. As if the heat wave wasn't bad enough, try having to blend hobbits and elves into the real world!
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my modern twist on Lotr! A note before you read, all things in italics are thoughts. Enjoy!**

***Disclaimer! I do not own Lord of the Rings! Just the OC's***

Chapter One-New in Town

Somehow I managed to drag my dog tired limbs up the porch steps and into the house, the screen door banging loudly behind me. It had been an incredibly long and incredibly _hot_ day, temperatures reaching a scorching 104 degrees. Though my hair was gathered in a high ponytail it didn't stop it from clinging to my sweat drenched neck.

The air inside was just as hot and humid as it was outside. I crossed the room and squat down to check the rusted AC unit. Twisting the knob in attempts to get a refreshing blast of cold, the knob broke off and I was instead greeted by intense wave of heat. _Fuck._ I tossed the knob aside and opened all the windows. Hey, a warm breeze was better than no breeze.

I crossed the small kitchen and cracked the refrigerator door which provided a slight amount of cooling. Settling for a soda and cold chicken (cut me some slack, I'm exhausted and feeling pretty lazy) I sat at the counter.

The rest of the house was silent and I was beginning to grow uncomfortable listening to myself chew on the rubbery meat. Not being all that hungry anyhow I dropped the plate in the sink and on my way to the bathroom to shower I took a swat at the answering machine which beeped and in its robotic voice said, "You have one, new message. First message…" The robotic voice was then replaced by a woman's, heavily tainted by a southern accent, "Hey Krystin! It's Lana! I know you're still hurting from that breakup but Liam was…"

My hair stood up on end at the sound of her voice. Don't get me wrong, I love Lana to death but her obsession with my love affairs, and lack thereof, had beyond exceeded annoying. It had become a regular thing with her, calling almost daily with news of some guy she thought perfect for me. However, lately, the daily check in seemed to revolve around my breakup with Liam.

It had been fun with him, with Liam. He was sweet and charming, like most Southern boys with their deep drawls and bright blue eyes, but Liam was different. He had never expected me to be some Southern belle. He loved that I liked hunting and fishing but then could go from mud to makeup in less than five minutes for a night on the town.

Four months later I found him with another girl, fooling around with her in his truck. You could see the thing shake from a mile away. Now don't think me creepy, it's not like I purposefully sought him and his bimbo out. He was fogging up his windshield out in the football stadium's parking lot, he wanted people to see.

The news of course spread like wildfire, as most news does through single spotlight towns like ours. This all happened about a week ago and I was okay with it all. Of course the first night I was devastated, a raging combination of cussing and crying and if Lana hadn't come over with ice cream and chick flicks I would've gone all _Before He Cheats _on his ass but Carrie Underwood's lyrics remained in the song, for now at least.

I turned on the water and had the dial turned all the way to C. My skin felt like it was ready to melt away and I needed the freezing water and I needed it now. I stripped off my sweat stained shirt and cutoffs before stepping into the sweet, sweet cold.

The icy chill reminded me of playing in the creek on days like today with my six brothers. We'd splash each other and jump off the waterfalls before running home, mud caked messes. As I lathered my hair full of some fruity, two cent shampoo from the drug store I heard the machine cut off and the phone begin to ring off its hook.

The machine caught it and surprise, surprise, Lana's voice poured out from the little black box, "Krystin, stop screening my goddamn calls! Ugh, it's like you're trying to avoid me..."

_She's got one thing right._

"I don't want to talk about Liam, well, at least not now. I have BIG news! God, Krystin pick up your phone! I know you're home!" She sounded eager about something. Perhaps Tate finally got the balls to propose, whatever it was she knew Lana would talk and talk until she picked up the phone.

Rinsing the remainder of the suds from my long, mass of hair I cut off the water and grabbing a towel from the rack I made a beeline for the phone. Picking up the receiver I wedged it awkwardly between my ear and shoulder so I could secure the towel around my body, "I swear to God, Lana this better be important. You realize you're shootin' my phone bill through the roof! For Christ's sakes, you live right across town, why don't you just drive here?"

A light huff came from the other line, "Krystin, are you done?"

I slapped my hand across my forehead and ran it through my tangled hair, "What's so important?" I asked, digging my nails into my palms reminding myself not say something I didn't mean.

"Tate proposed!" she screeched. I smiled; content with myself for being right on the money. I congratulated her and let her rant for several minutes about how he did it, all the miniscule details that should really be saved for a twelve year olds diary but I let her have her moment.

"Krystin, I want you to be my maid of honor." She said once she was finished. I thought back to my oldest brother's wedding and how I'd been one of the bridesmaids. Being shoved into a dress with poufy sleeves and being forced to stand for an hour while the couple professed their undying love for one another hadn't been something I exactly wanted to do again but she is my best friend…

"I'd be honored," I said once I realized I hadn't yet given an answer. Lana squealed happily from the other line, "Great! I'll call you tomorrow so we can start planning!" the line clicked off.

I sighed and dropped the phone on the hook. What did I just get myself into? I had more important things to worry about than a wedding, like my student loans and the mortgage on this stupid farm my grandparents left me. The pile of bills was growing into a tower of ripped envelopes and folded letters upon the kitchen table yet I continued to ignore them, day after day.

Since I was the only person living here and the closest neighbor was a mile out I dropped my towel right there in the living room. The heat radiating from the busted ac unit was overpowering the night breeze and it was sweltering. However I couldn't stand around buck naked, well I could, I just didn't want to so I pulled on a lacey pair of panties and an old t shirt of which I tied above my belly button before collapsing on the couch.

I fanned myself with the TV guide as I flipped through channels. Seeing as how nothing good was ever on past eleven o' clock at night I settled for one of those Lord of the Rings movies just so there'd be sound.

My brothers had always loved these movies growing up. I hadn't ever really been interested in it because at the time I wanted to be a princess or something stupid like that and had no time for, what were they? Orcs? Goblins? Wizards? Let's just say I didn't find anything enticing about it.

A loud crash boomed outside the window.

I bolt upright at the sound. Black and white TV fuzz dimly lit the room. I rubbed the sleep from eyes although I didn't remember falling asleep. I certainly didn't feel rested.

Moments later there was another crash followed by overlapping voices. Initially, fear was my first reaction. This was then followed by irritation. The neighbor boys liked to pull pranks and mess with the animals; they'd spook the horses and let the chickens loose. One time they'd even spray painted the cows.

My muscles protested as I stood, they hadn't fully recovered from the extensive load of farm work I put on them yesterday.

Reaching for a jar on top of the fridge I pulled a key from inside and unlocked my granddaddy's gun safe. I had decided to use a scare tactic he had used all his life when punks came around. Bratty pre-teens so much as see a gun and they'd run for the hills.

Grabbing the shotgun (the bigger the better) and throwing it over my shoulder I made for the barn. I slunk around the back; several horses whickered as I passed. At least three voices could be heard from within, they sounded British?

_Oh my God. Are you serious? Couldn't they have had their tea elsewhere? Why at my barn at four in the frickin' morning?_

I kicked the door open with my bare foot and lifted the gun to shoulder level, "Fun's over boys, now why don't ya'll-"

I shut my mouth right quick. Nothing I've ever learned or saw could have possibly prepared for this spectacle.

Three men, I think, clad in medieval wear and brandishing swords and bows stared me down as if I was the one intruding. I held the gun aimed toward the blond beauty who stared me down. I could see his finger twitching along his bow string, waiting to fire.

Clicking off the safety I readjusted my trigger finger, "Trust me blondie, my release is a whole lot quicker and I'm not gonna miss."

**Damn AC breaking on Krystin! I'd much rather have that 104 heat than the blizzard currently raging outside my window! So what'd you think? Leave some reviews and tell me! :) I'd love to hear your ideas and thoughts to use as inspiration for future chapters!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two-Not A Dream

We stood there in awkward silence, the only sound came from the animals outside. No one moved. I couldn't help but admire the archer's stance, not only was it perfect but he'd been holding it for a good five minutes. I was also seriously considering that this was in fact, a dream. I mean, for crying out loud dwarves aren't real yet there one was, twelve feet in front of me. At least I had two feet on him._ Ha, clever one there Krystin. Way to make a joke when you're in the middle of a showdown. _

Before I had time to pinch myself and wake up the tall, dark haired man stepped forward. Immediately I shifted the barrel toward him. He sheathed his sword and raised his hands signifying that I should trust him, "We're not of this land."

I scoffed and arched an eyebrow, "Yeah. You're tellin' me. Who are you?"

He turned to the others and after several words of a language I'd never heard, his friends backed down and lowered their weapons, "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, and Gimli, son of Gloin."

"I don't care who your daddy's are-" I stopped again when I realized the familiarity behind their names. Those were the names of the characters in the Lord of the Rings movies.

I dropped the gun to my side and simply gaped. I mean, that was all I could do. "You've got to be kidding me." I looked up at the ceiling. Somewhere I knew God was laughing at me. Man, did He sure have a twisted sense of humor.

"I assure you those are our namesakes," Aragorn said unaware that my comment wasn't directed at him.

I waved him off like I'd shoo a fly off a horse, "Yeah I know who you are. I know all about you." As big a lie as that was I wasn't about to let on I knew nothing, Lord forbid that would make him think he had the upper hand. All I could remember was that he was some ranger from the north? West? Somewhere that wasn't Independence, Virginia.

Aragorn's eyebrow perked at this information. Annalee glanced down at the hand that rested too comfortably on the hilt of his sword, "From where have you heard such things? Who are you?"

I held the gun firmly in my grip; my brain was telling me to raise it, to shoot him in the foot or something and go call the police, say I did it in self-defense but I was already the talk of the town what with being cheated on; I did not, I repeat did not need any more attention.

"I'm Krystin…daughter of Daniel?" I introduced myself like they had, feeling like a dumbass the entire time. I hadn't meant to pose it as a question but this wasn't the time for handshakes and how the hell was I supposed to know if they knew any other way to introduce themselves? "To answer your second question," again I shut my mouth when I realized there wasn't a good explanation.

_Oh yeah, ya'll are just a bunch of fantasy characters from a trilogy of books that got turned into a multimillion dollar movie franchise. No biggie, ya'll want to come in for a beer and digest that little fact? Sorry Kristin, that won't cut it._

So of course the lamest answer came to mind, "Word gets around."

The archer cast a suspicious look my way, piercing me with his eyes. Those bright blue eyes, bluer than any I'd ever seen that were narrowed in such a way I knew he was judging me. His lips parted and words I knew were less than kind rolled off his tongue in that strange language.

I offered a rather insincere smile, "Up yours too."

Outside several, overlapping voices were fast approaching. The barn door flung open, groaning loudly on its hinges protesting the sudden movement. Three children scrambled in, pushing past me screaming about someone being stuck in a fence.

"It's sharp and pointy and we can't get him out!" the stout one cried frantically.

"There's an animal inside and it's not happy," added another equally as frantic as his friend.

Great, they managed to get tangled up in the fence that caged the one dangerous animal on this entire farm. Daryl was a bull with a violent history and he did not like people. He'd kicked at least half of my brother's and sent me running for my life a few dozen times throughout my twenty one years. If it didn't breed well I swear my granddaddy would've put him out to pasture years ago.

"What do we do?" asked the third, "Boromir was trying to get him out when that animal tried to attack him. He jumped in the ring with it, can a sword kill it?"

"Oh hell no," I flipped the shotgun up into my opposite hand and pulling the forend down in the process. There was no way in hell I was going to let some idiot with a sword slaughter my bull, even if it was a stubborn bitch.

I ran through the fields and up the hill; sticks and gravel cutting up my bare feet but I didn't care. I glanced over my shoulder to see if the others were following and sure enough they were just at a much slower pace. Though they were running they were slowed by the amount of chainmail and weaponry adorning their bodies. It was also in that moment I remembered I'd been in nothing but panties and a tied of t shirt, if this wasn't the picture of white trash I didn't know what was.

The purple light of dawn illuminated the barbed wire pen at the base of the hill. Even though I was a good quarter mile out I could see the fury in Daryl's eyes, his nostrils flaring angrily as he faced the man who threatened him.

"Hey!" I called, flying down the hill. I fired a warning shot showing I meant business. Squat in my barn all you like but don't touch my animals, "Get outta there!"

I swear the man jumped out of his skin when the shot rang out, shattering the stillness of the early morning. Daryl stamped his hoof into the ground and charged the man. Part of me hoped he'd flatten him but that would make a mess I didn't want to clean up.

My lungs felt about near ready to explode by the time I reached the pen. Sure enough, a child was caught in the fence or at least his cape (?) was.

Daryl charged again, this time disarming him. Did I not warn him to get out of there? The man was scared now that he was defenseless. I rolled my eyes and tossed the shotgun aside, probably about to do something I'd end up regretting.

Taking a few steps back to get a running start I ran forward and dove through the rows of barbed wire, the short spikes raking my bare thigh in the process. If my mother had heard the words that came out of my mouth just then she would've disowned me.

I stood up and putting two dirt dusted fingers between my lips I whistled short and loud, the sharp sound splitting the air. Daryl wheeled around and snorted; wisps of snot flying from his snout. Luckily for the man earlier referred to as Boromir, he was near a weak spot in the fence. Slowly I inched in that direction, Daryl's eyes following my every move. Suddenly a rock rained down and bounced off his head. The kid trapped in the fence picked up another stone and hauled it at the beast.

Perplexed, the bull turned on its hooves giving me just enough time to dodge across the pen and hoping momentum was in my favor I rammed into the man, sending both of us through the crack in the fencing.

I rolled onto my back and groaned, making a note to never sign up for a position as linebacker I closed my eyes until the stars disappeared. When I reopened them I was met by the faces of seven people, seven characters.

"How many of you are there?" I asked dryly.

"Nine," replied Aragorn.

I groaned louder and clutched my bleeding thigh, the only indication that this was indeed real life. There was no denying it, the frickin' fellowship had managed to escape their fantastical realm and into my reality.

_Just how I wanted to start my morning._

**_It may be just me but doesn't everyone start their Thursday mornings by saving grown men from angry bulls? No? Just Krystin...okay then! Hopefully you enjoyed this! Until next time_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay I'm back for round three! Based on the lovely reviews and the followings and the favorings I take it you all are liking it so far! Thank you so much for the support, Enjoy**

Chapter Three- Introductions and Strange Teas

Lying flat on your back, in the middle of a pasture with eight of the nine fellowship members staring at you may have been every fangirl's dream but for me, it was creepy and borderline claustrophobic.

Glancing between the archer's legs I could make out the shape of the kid still trying to wriggle out of the fence. I pointed a finger in his direction, "Shouldn't one of ya'll go take care of that?"

Eight heads turned simultaneously in said direction before looking back at me. I sighed and hauled myself to my feet which sent bolts of pain shooting down my leg, "For cryin' out loud," I muttered under my breath. If they were going to stand around and act like dumbasses then I was sure as hell gonna treat them as such.

I limped over to the fence and examined the extent of the mess he'd gotten himself into, and crouched (more like fell) down beside him as my injured leg turned to jelly. Lucky for him only his cloths had gotten caught in the wiring and with a few good tugs I had managed to set him free.

He stood and dusted the dirt from his pants, "Thank you." Sparkly green eyes flicked up to meet mine, "Who are you?"

I was surprised at the lower octave in his voice. Slowly but surely I made the connection that he was one of the hobbits and not some kid. "I'm-"

A shot rang out, silencing the rest of my introduction. Out of reflex I pulled the hobbit beneath me and hit the ground, hands covering my head. After a few moments of cease fire I looked up to see the short, hairy man, introduced as Gimli lying on the ground with the shotgun locked in his death grip.

I jumped up, a bit too quickly for my leg, and hobbled over thinking he'd killed himself. Everyone would forget about Liam cheating on me when they heard a dwarf had committed suicide on my granddad's property. Upon closer inspection I was lucky enough to discover him still breathing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted along with numerous gesticulations, half of which weren't so polite, "You could've killed someone!" Realizing this myself I did a three sixty, surveying the land for dead animals. Taking into account zero fatalities I directed my attention back to the dwarf who in my ten second survey had been hauled to his feet. Great, now he was waist height. I felt like I was yelling at a kid.

Gimli adjusted his hold on the shotgun which sent little jolts of alarm through my veins. I narrowed my eyes and took a step closer and before he had the chance to blink I seized it from his grip. His mouth was hanging open and he looked at his empty hands, entirely dumbstruck as to how it could've been so easily taken from him. "I don't have time for this shit. Ya'll need to be on your way and get off my property before I call the police."

"Is that your cavalry?" asked Gimli sarcastically, "What are they to do lassie? It looks like you're at just as big a loss as we are!"

I shot daggers at him with my eyes, oh how I wanted to deck him. I swear I would've had Aragorn, I was beginning to think he was their unspoken leader, stepped forward blocking my path to the irksome dwarf.

The ranger muttered something incoherent, which Gimli replied to with an angry huff. His focus then fell upon me, "We mean you no harm-"

I scoffed, "It's a little late for that!" I stepped back so I could get a clear view of them all, "Look, I don't know how ya'll got here or why you're here but," I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to retain my composure, "but you _cannot _stay here."

I turned on my heel and what I meant to be a prompt, bold, sure-of-myself exit turned out to be an awkward, slow limp. Still, I was determined to leave them and the past ten hours or so of my life behind.

"Krystin!" called Aragorn from behind. Hearing my name roll off his accented tongue made me flinch. It sounded strange and unfamiliar. I shook it off and continued on my way. I hadn't gained much distance between us and I was hoping they weren't following.

_Don't look back._

_ Don't look back._

From all the hunting trips I'd been on in my life I could pick up more than a dozen different treads so I knew it was Aragorn following close behind me.

"Krystin, please!" he begged. Calloused fingers wrapped around my arm and spun me around to meet distressed eyes. For a moment a pang of sympathy bounced around inside me. _Dammit, damn women for being sensitive at all the wrong times! _I did my best to shake off the feeling but he held me with that stare, "We need your help." He softly squeezed my arm before releasing it.

I exhaled slowly, "Aragorn," ugh, his name sounded even stranger coming from me, "I can't help you. I don't know the first thing about any of you! Can't you guys just leave? Go somewhere else?" I realized I was leaning toward whining but I was exhausted and didn't care.

His distressed gaze softened and a light sigh escaped his lips, "Where do you suppose we go?" he asked softly, "What do I tell them? From what I gather your world has never seen the likes of our peoples. Not all of them are like you and I."

Looking over the ranger's shoulder, his statement couldn't ring truer. If memory served me correctly, they were elves, dwarves, and hobbits. Aragorn had point, where would they go? I pushed the thought away, "No, no I'm sorry. I can't help you. I don't even know how I could help you."

"Please, I beg of you." His voice sounded tired, "We need your aid and it looks like you could use ours." He gestured toward her thigh, blood still seeping from torn bits of flesh.

I rubbed at my eyes and couldn't believe what I was about to do, "Okay."

And so they followed me back to my house, my poor little house that was about to be overrun by Tolkien's creations. What was I thinking? That would be a mad house. No, only Aragorn and one or two others could go in for now. Besides, it would be a whole lot less stressful on my part. I explained the size issue to Aragorn who agreed it'd be better with fewer people.

Aragorn led the others to the barn where they were to stay and do whatever it is Tolkien characters do. Hell if I knew. I rushed inside, the screen door slamming behind me. If I was to do this, help these people get back to wherever it was they came from, I needed a moment to myself.

I doubled over, my hands pressed against my knees and took several deep breaths. A million thoughts ran through mind that I hadn't considered before. The better half of them were not human so that would cause problems. They had no idea what technology was. They were dangerous around unfamiliar artillery and God knows what else!

"Are you alright my dear?" asked a kind old voice. However the tone of his voice meant nothing to me as I was pretty sure I just jumped out of my skin.

"Holy shit!" I fell back against the door, "Who the hell are you?"

"Well I'm Gandalf the Gray," he replied calmly before sipping tea from a steaming cup. I didn't even know I had tea for people to drink. Where did he find tea?

_Wait, Gandalf the Gray? Gray? Wow, is that really how people in the fifties came up with characters? You dress 'em in one color then make it a part of their name. How clever._

Leaning against the kitchen table was a long staff, crudely cut from some sort of wood and bent all out of shape. A gray pointed hat hung off of it.

"How did you get in here?" I asked.

"You don't exactly leave your doors locked!" chided the old man.

"This is the South! No one locks their doors!" Wait, I didn't have to explain myself to him. This was my house, he was the stranger here.

Ignoring my comment he took another slow drink of tea, "I see you've met the rest of my company based upon your bedraggled appearance. Or is that how people of your world are naturally?" he clucked his tongue, "never mind that! That's a foul marking on your leg there, whatever happened?"

He continued speaking but his words began sounding closer and closer together until it sounded like garbled nonsense. I was confused, what was happening? Colors and shapes began to blur together until there was nothing.

**So what did you think of that? Let me know what you thought, if you liked it or even if you didn't! I look forward to hearing your thoughts, until next time ;)**

**Oh and thanks to Edraithwen for your insight! I hope this was a better chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four-Band Aids

"What happened?" Gandalf's question reeled in my mind when female undertones began creeping in asking the same thing, intertwining with the wise old voice, "What happened?"

As my senses came together Lana's shrill voice pierced through the light daze that clouded my head. It had been her voice overpowering that of the wizard.

"What happened?" she shrieked once more, "Oh my God, Krystin! What happened?"

I opened my eyes slightly; my head was in her lap so I was looking at her upside down. I bolt upright startling Lana. Gandalf! Where was he? Oh God, had Lana seen him? Or the others? How the fuck was I going to explain the hobbits or the dwarf? Was a traveling circus a good excuse? Sitting up so fast hadn't been my smartest idea. All the blood came rushing back making my head spin like one of those county fair carnival rides. "Lana, what are you doing here?" I asked groggily.

Her eyes were the size of dinner plates, looking at me like I was some kind of alien, "I came over early to discuss wedding details when I found you like this! What happened? Were you robbed?" She looked around the room with those panic stricken eyes before returning her attention to me.

I shook my head which was now pounding. Perfect, I just love headaches. "No, I wasn't robbed. I don't know what happened." Now that was the truth. I really didn't know what happened. One minute I was talking to Gandalf and the next I'm waking up in her lap.

"Oh my God," Lana burst, "It's probably heatstroke! That mess on your leg probably is infected; I should get you to the hospital." She began fumbling around in her purse for her car keys.

"Lana, just because you took one semester of pre-med doesn't make you a doctor." I tossed a smile her way showing I meant no offense, though I was thoroughly irritated with the present situation "I cut my leg on one of the fences and probably passed out from dehydration. I worked a lot yesterday."

She let out a shaky breath and raised her hands in defeat, "Alright, Alright." Lana stood and offered me a manicured hand. As I let her help me to my feet she clucked her tongue, "You should really hire some help."

I limped through the hall and into the kitchen in search of the massive first aid kit my grandma had spent years building up, "If I could afford help, I would!" I called from the other room.

"Ah ha!" I exclaimed as I pulled the bright red box from beneath the sink. Pulling a dish towel off rack I sat at the table, leg stretched out before me. I craned my neck around in all directions to determine the extent of the injury. Flecks of dirt and rocks speckled the mess of dried crimson amidst the torn and mangled skin. In some places, dead skin had shriveled up and was dangling off my thigh. In short, this shit was gross.

Opening the kit and after digging around for several minutes I found a tiny pair of scissors. Pinching what looked like dead skin to determine whether or not it actually was (I didn't want to start snipping away at live skin) I began to cut away the tendrils of withered flesh.

"So I was just wonderin'…" Lana's wedge clad feet clicked into the kitchen and when she saw me adding piece after piece to the slow growing pile of my skin all color drained from her face and she stopped mid-sentence. For a second I thought she was gonna throw up all over the floor. A hand flew over her eyes as she whipped around so her back faced me.

"Krystin! Oh my Lord! How can you do that to yourself?" She puffed.

I laughed lightly to myself, "Calm down Lana. What were you sayin' now?"

Lana's shoulders rose to her ears as she took a deep breath, cleansing herself of what she just saw. "I'm just curious as to why you're all covered in dirt. I mean, you weren't workin' dressed like that?"

I dropped the scissors on the counter, a faint plop echoing from beneath it. "Lana, what are you gettin' at?"

Suddenly she whipped around, completely forgetting about the wound that repulsed her only seconds earlier. "I think you were havin' a bit of fun out in that hay loft of yours. C'mon spill. Who is he?"

I narrowed my eyes; my jaw was probably hitting the linoleum. "You think…me? Sex? In the…What the fuck Lana! This isn't the product of hanky panky!" I yelled waving toward my leg, "God, what kind of person do you think I am?"

Lana held her sides laughing, "Calm down, Krystin. I'm just messin'! Goodness, I have to make a note **do not joke about sex with Krystin.**" She pantomimed writing a message in the air.

I ignored her and dousing the dishcloth in alcohol I pressed it against the raw flesh that was now my thigh. It burned like hell and I did all I could not to scream like a little kid. I rubbed lightly at it in attempts to assuage the stinging but it still felt like someone was digging their fingers around inside of it.

With the startup of sterilizing the injury Lana turned that pale green color and practically fled from the kitchen into the small foyer, "Honestly though Krystin, how long has it been since you've actually gone and done it with someone?" she called.

Let's take a moment here to reflect on my sex life. I'll get right to the point and say it was nonexistent. I was a virgin. But did Lana know that? No. She thought Liam and I had tangled it up a good couple times before the messy ending of our relationship. Truth be told we had come pretty damn close but we never went all the way.

"Can't we talk about something else?" I almost was pleading with her, "What about your wedding?" I flinched as I wiped away the remaining blood. The dirt and rocks were ninety nine percent gone and I was otherwise content with the job I'd done.

In the other room I heard the clatter of plastic which could only be the blinds snapping back into place. Lana clicked and clacked back into the kitchen, "You liar!" she squealed, disbelief radiating off of her bright face.

I arched an eyebrow. I had no idea what she was talking about, "What?"

"You had sex!"

"What?!" I nearly shouted. "No I didn't."

She folded her arms across her chest and sat on her hip, "Then who's that stud muffin running up your driveway?"

I pushed my chair away from the table and stamped into the foyer to look out the window. Using two fingers I spread apart the blinds.

"Oh my God," I whispered. Aragorn was trotting, barefoot, up the driveway, dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, haphazardly buttoned up his lean torso.

"Didn't do it?" sing-songed Lana.

The door flung open and in burst Aragorn. He looked more surprised to see me than I was to see him. We stood there in a stalemate of silence, neither one of us knowing exactly what to do.

"Hi there!" Lana greeted boldly, "I'm Lana, Krystin's best friend. Who are you?" she asked with a sly wink in my direction.

I jumped in front him before he could start on the whole "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" thing. "This is Ara-" Oh God, there was no good way to introduce his name, "This is Aragorn."

"Aragorn?" his name rolled off her tongue, "What is that? French?"

I nodded, "Yep! French!" I sounded so insincere. It was a miracle she wasn't seeing right through me.

I whirled around to face Aragorn who retreated a step, "What are you doing here?" I asked, "I thought you left!"

"Yeah, I'll come back later!" Lana grabbed her purse and slunk around us toward the front door, "Lana wait! It's not what you think. He's leaving in a minute!" I cried.

Lana flashed a pearly white smile, "That's fine Honey, take all the time you need." She pulled the door shut behind her. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the door. That did not just happen. Inhaling slowly I let out a groan of frustration on the exhale.

"Aragorn?" I asked turning to face him, "Where did you get those clothes? What are you doing?" Half of me didn't really want to know the answer but if I didn't get one I'd drive myself crazy thinking of all the things he could've done.

"When I returned from bringing the others to your stables I found you on the floor with Gandalf. He's with the rest of my company mow. Based upon what you were wearing I knew your people would be concerned with my appearance. I found these clothes in your wardrobe and went for help."

No! No, no, no, no…no. He did not just say he went for help. He did not go interact with actual human beings. No.

"They're quite comfortable actually," he said adjusting the fabric around his shoulders, "it doesn't offer much protection though."

"Aragorn!" I snapped, getting him back on track, "Who did you talk to?"

"He was an elderly man with hardly any hair, he lived half a league's way from here." he said.

Okay, it had just been Mr. Benson. He was so old he could hardly remember his own name. I didn't have to worry about him realizing who Aragorn was.

"I told him you had cut your leg and asked if he had any athelas, he told me he didn't know what it was, can you believe that? Anyway, he gave me these," he fiddled around in his back pocket and pulled out three band aids. "I've never seen anything like them, will they help?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes, this was so pathetic. God, good guy Aragorn over here just tryin' to help had turned into Lana, thinking I'd gone and fooled around with him. My reputation hung on the line now...and all for the sake of three measly band aids.

**Man, Good guy Aragorn screwin' up all kinds of things! Well, what'd you think? I love the reviews I'm getting, please continue with them! I love hearing what you think!**

**Sorry for that 'new chapter' fakeout! I meant to delete a chapter of a different story :p *face palm***


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again! I'm sorry I haven't updated, I was got up in my own birthday fun and lost track of time! No worries though, I am back with a new chapter full of excitement! This chapter is told in a bit of a flashback interrupted by present events. It sounds confusing I know but I think you'll understand better as you read it. Enough talk, on with the show!**

Chapter Five-Shopping Sprees and Butterflies

It had been nearly a week since I discovered the nine out in the barn. A week since I thought life was normal and the biggest issue I had was paying off student loans. Oh, how times had changed.

I watched the ceiling fan spin lazily above me, my eyes falling in sync with the circular motion of the blades as the events of the past five or six days replayed in my head, keeping me awake. The springs creaked under my weight as I rolled on to my left side. The clock read 1:35 AM.

After thirty minutes more of tossing and turning, I figured sleep wasn't going to come easy tonight and though my mind was reluctant, my body was ready to get up and be active.

Navigating the pitch dark of the bedroom proved easier said than done. You'd think after living here two years I'd know it like the back of my hand and be able to walk it blindfolded. That was not the case. What I thought was the door turned out to be the dresser of which I body slammed.

"Shit!" I banged my fist against it wishing it could feel the pain it caused me. Though my leg had only just been torn apart by barbed wire, running into furniture will always hurt more than anything. Always.

I threw the door open in my fit of tired aggravation. A single overhead light dimly illuminated both the kitchen and living room. Through half shut eyes I trudged into the living room, dragging my still somewhat gimpy leg behind me.

My leg was healing quite nicely if I do say so myself. The first two days had been awful because not only did it hurt like a bitch but it prevented me from getting any work done. I had to enlist the help of Boromir and Aragorn to get the bare minimum done, which was not easy and with the whole band aid fiasco Aragorn had been trying his best to make up for it. Lord knows I went through hell and high water in order to get Lana to shut up about it.

After she decided Aragorn was my new boyfriend or as she had claimed, "boy toy," I spent the rest of that afternoon on the phone with her bullshitting some phony story in regards to my relationship with him. I shuddered at the mere thought of Aragorn and I on anything more than a platonic level. I had eventually managed to convince her that I had just hired him to help around the farm.

As for the others, that was more complicated. With Lana coming around more and more with wedding nonsense, the more and more this crazy story unfurled into something I hope I could keep under control.

I was constantly checking off an imaginary list in my head in order to keep my story in check:

Boromir- Aragorn's brother, both came from up north (explains the whole uppity accent they had going for them) looking for work

Legolas- simply a friend, avid hunter *ears are still a problem*

Gandalf- easy, granddad on my mom's side, living here for a while to help financially

Gimli- out of town, needed work and I needed help so boom, job for him

Hobbits- cousins who came with granddad (Gandalf)

Coming up with backstories had been easy. It was only a matter of appearances now. Pointed ears and chainmail weren't exactly a thing you saw every day. Well, you know what they say: Desperate times call for desperate measures. In short, I'd have to take nine guys on a shopping spree.

It was much easier said than done and it was not a painless experience. The fast growing pile of receipts glaring at me from their place on the kitchen counter reminded me of that.

I had explained the situation to them and from what I gathered they understood. Of course, I couldn't take all of them at once so I took them alone or in pairs. However, convincing them to drive up to town in my truck hadn't been easy. Each and every one of them had put up a fight about how they would never ride in it. In all my days I had never seen such a bitch fit. Oh my God, you'd think I had asked them to kill a puppy with how much they protested.

"Can we not ride horses?" countered Boromir when I had first brought it up.

"It roars like a dragon," Gimli jeered, "never have I heard such a thing!"

"How do we know it won't eat us?" questioned Merry.

"Can you eat _it_?" Pippin had followed.

And that was only a sample of the idiocy I had faced. I just had to remind myself they don't have any clue as to how the twenty first century works and that I had to take it slow with them.

Boromir had been the first to brave it. Mr. Ballsy buckled himself in beside me, laughing that his comrades were foolish to think this was dangerous but as soon as I started rolling down the driveway he seized the grab handle with such a death grip I thought he'd rip it clean off. On the turns he'd shout out some curse in a language I didn't know or squeeze his eyes shut.

It was hilarious.

Until that was how all of drives turned out. At first it had been funny, entertaining even. Then it became a headache trigger or a complete blowout, especially with Gimli and Legolas.

"Watch it Lassie!" Gimli yelled as he tumbled across the back seat.

I glanced back, "Put your fuckin' seatbelt on! I swear to God if we get pulled over you will not live to see Middle Earth." How the hell would I explain this to an officer? I didn't even want to think about it.

"Krystin!" screeched Legolas as his hand shot to the grab handle, more so referred to now as the "oh shit!" handle.

"What?!"

My eyes darted across the road just in time to slam the brakes and prevent a t bone collision. The driver gave me the finger as he screeched past, horn blaring.

I bent my head to my chest and drummed my fingers against the wheel.

"Krystin?" started Legolas.

I jabbed a finger in his face, "Don't." I dangerously flicked my eyes toward him and then in the rearview mirror to get a good look at Gimli. "The next person who talks I will personally castrate. If you don't want your lovelies fed to the pigs, I suggest shutting up."

That had seemed to do the trick because they shut up for the rest of the ride. It also got me thinking about their lovelies. Not in that way, God no! But I was curious. Considering they weren't human, did parts vary from species to species? Did the elves outdo the men? I couldn't help but wonder who exactly was top dog in Middle Earth.

Wardrobe for everyone was officially done by Saturday, the third day. It had probably been the most exhausting feat of my life. Now I understood how Lana felt when she takes me shopping, I don't know how she does it.

Remember how I just said wardrobe shopping had been the most exhausting feat of my life? Scratch that, I lied. Getting Legolas into a chair at the salon definitely, without a doubt, takes the cake.

"No! Why in Eru's name would I do such a thing?" he protested once I told him he needed to cut those blonde locks down to size.

"Because, around here having a penis and fish tailed braids down your back is not a good combination. It will draw too much attention to you." I argued.

I personally had no problem with guys having long hair but in small towns like mine, people held on to traditional values and with Legolas already having a feminine look…it didn't bode too well for him.

"I don't understand how my having a penis has anything to do with how I choose to wear my hair," he griped.

Man, talk about his princely antics. It wasn't that he was vain or anything, he really didn't understand. I had to think quick on my feet. "Legolas," I said gently, approaching this from a different angle. "Your ears. They're not common in my world," I felt like a fucking idiot talking like this, "and if you plan on sticking around you have to fit in."

This seemed to have struck a nerve with him and for the first time since his arrival the anger in his eyes left and I was greeted by tired pools of blue. "I suppose you're right. My company and I have already caused you enough grief so I will do this."

Marilyn Clark was the best hairdresser in town. If anyone could give him a new look and do it well, it was her. The fifty year old woman had owned the _All American Salon_ for twenty three years and could work magic with a pair of scissors and a hairbrush.

The bell above the door tinkled musically upon opening. Marilyn smiled widely from behind the counter, "Welcome to All Amer-" she pushed her purple, thick rimmed glasses up her nose, "Krystin Sinclair! My word, I haven't seen you since you're senior prom!" Then Marilyn's eyes narrowed and her wrinkled features scrunched up making her look like a prune, "And who's this young lady? I don't think I've met her before. Is she one of your friends from college?"

"Is she talking about me?" Legolas whispered from beside me.

I stifled a laugh and nodded, "Marilyn this is my…" I gave him a once over look and side stepped him so she could get a clear look, "my friend Legolas. He and some family are visiting from out of state."

Marilyn took a step toward him and adjusted her glasses, "My, my you're a boy!" she circled him like an animal would stalk its prey mumbling incoherently to herself and nodding.

"Where did you say you were from?" asked Marilyn coming to a stop in front of him.

"California!" I blurted before he had the chance to answer.

"Oh I see, one of those surfer boys. Well you're in Virginia now so this long hair of yours has to go. Go on, have a seat in my chair."

With Legolas waiting in the chair, I paid at the counter. Before sliding my card I leaned across the counter and lowered my voice, "My friend has a birth defect around his ears, they're pointed," I pointed up with my finger to add emphasis, "He's very self-conscious about it so don't say anything."

Marilyn nodded and pat my hand, "No problem dear! In all my years I've seen so much nothing bothers me anymore."

All kerchiefed up and ready to be worked on Marilyn spun Legolas away from the mirror. His eyes were closed and his hands were gripping the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles blazed white. Part of me felt guilty and that I should tell her to stop, that this wasn't necessary.

_On_ the other hand I was kind of enjoying it. I was considering this to be an act of revenge on my part. After all the death glares and the curses he'd directed toward me it was time for a little justice. So I may be a slight bit sadistic…don't judge me.

Marilyn's lined hands didn't shake or falter as she gathered his long locks into a ponytail. Once this was done she pulled scissors from her apron like she was some sort of gunslinger and went to work.

I swear I could hear the thundering of Legolas' heartbeat as she snipped away at his golden tresses. Or maybe it was my own, I didn't know but the tension hung tightly in the air between us.

Lock after lock hit the floor, creating a sea of blonde beneath their feet. Combing and cutting, layering and feathering, Marilyn worked to make sure it was done perfectly.

"Alright, take a look!" Marilyn chirped as she swiveled the chair around to face the mirror.

Something of a gasp escaped his lips as he took in his new appearance. What once had been long and straight hair was replaced by short, rough layers brushed forward and up almost like a faux hawk but so much better. Marilyn had even managed to hide the tips of his ears.

Marilyn looked very pleased with herself. Legolas ran a hand through his newly coiffed hair and looked to me, "How does it look?"

I was speechless. Hot damn, he was gorgeous. _Damn it! Stop it! You are not allowed to be attracted to him but damn…_

Realizing I looked like a starstruck idiot I checked myself, "Good, yeah. It's good."

Marilyn pat a dainty hand against Legolas' broad chest, "A good haircut brings out the best in all of us. I remember when Krystin came in for prom, she was a plain girl with that gorgeous hair but she always hid it in a ponytail, that one," she said pointing at me.

I touched my hair defensively; there was nothing wrong with it being up like this.

"I spent two hours working on her and it was like a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon. She was transformed into this beauty." She sighed and smiled up at Legolas, "Maybe you can bring back that girl, huh?"

Legolas arched an eyebrow and smiled, almost smugly, "A beauty huh? Maybe when she stops rolling around that farm of hers we'll get that girl back." An unfamiliar, unreadable gleam appeared in his eye for a split second before disappearing just as quickly as it had arrived.

Staring out the window toward the barn, I wondered what he meant by it. Was it an insult? Or a wish? God, he was so hard to understand! Plopping down on the couch in defeat I drifted off to sleep, a myriad of butterflies fluttering about my dreams.

**So...what'd you think? A lot is going down. Please don't hate me for cutting his hair! Pretty please! Let me know what you thought. I love hearing what was liked and what wasn't. Thanks to all those who followed, favored, reviewed, and thank to all those that continue to read my story. Hopefully I'll update in a week or two, all the birthday jitters should be gone by then ;) Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey there! I'm back for another fun filled chapter of fun filled chaos ;) I'd like to take a minute to write out personal responses to all the reviews I've received thus far, then it'll go by chapter from here on out.**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: Interesting indeed! I hope you still think it to be so!**

**TheParanoidGraveRobber: I'm glad you reallllyyy love this fic, I was hoping people would! And yes I'm sorry but the hair had to go...**

**Guest: Thank you for the compliment**

**Edraithwen: We've already shared multiple exchanges so you already I'm thankful for your help in the correction in that one chapter but I'll say it again, Thank you!**

**SilverMoonrise: Thanks! Delightful? Such a fun word ;)**

**TeddyBear007: I have to say when I got your band aid review I had that song stuck in my head all day! Haha but thank you for your continued support. I hope you're still reading even though I chopped off his golden locks!**

**Silvereyedlass: Thank you for your well wishes as well understanding the change in hairstyle for our pointy eared friend.**

**Guest: Yes. Yes I made a foolish mistake in editing and put the wrong chapter up. Terribly sorry :p**

**Guest: Your review made my day! I'm glad you're really enjoying this story and I hope you continue to. I did have a rather lovely birthday thank you :)**

**SeraphineBlack: Chaos awaits indeed my dear!**

**BooDude: I'd like to think this is how one might handle such an intrusion.**

**Alexma: Was this update soon enough? 6 days? Haha, thanks for the comment**

**Pheww and now that that's over with...the continuation of New In Town**

Chapter Six-House Party

I took Legolas to the farmer's market today because shockingly, as of now, I was the least aggravated with him. He was quiet most of the time and I liked that. Don't get me wrong, the hobbits are growing on me but sometimes I wish I could just strap one of those baby leashes to them and 'em on a tight tether.

I pulled in the drive and turned off the car.

"That one opens the door," I reminded Legolas once I pulled the keys from the ignition. "I think I'm just gonna order in tonight, do ya'll have anything like pizza in Middle Earth?" I asked opening my door.

Halfway out the driver's side I noticed Legolas hadn't moved. It was unnatural the way he could sit so still. I swear to God he wasn't even breathing.

"Hey prince, (my new nickname for him) I'm not a chauffeur. You got to open your own door." I added an honest smile to show him I was only teasing but he still didn't budge.

I grabbed my bag and fully got out of the car. Resting my hands on the roof I ducked my head back inside. Something was certainly bothering him, that or the stick he had up his ass was real.

I opened my mouth but instantly shut it. I was not about to spark a heart to heart with him. No way in hell was I about to get all tangled up in his elvish baggage.

_Nope, not gonna happen. _I pulled myself from the car but found myself unable to leave. I'd seen that hurt look before a million times with Lana. Granted I was positive that whatever was bothering him was not boy or shoe related.

Banging my fist silently against the roof of the car I took a deep breath and climbed back into the driver's seat.

"Spill it, prince."

Turning only his head, he looked at me with such confusion in his eyes it made me question if I'd just spoken English.

"Spill what?"

I sighed and shook my head, "I keep forgetting ya'll take everything so damn literal. What's botherin' you?"

"It's foolish." He deadpanned.

I slumped my purse down on the console and readjusted myself so I could properly face him. "I _promise _there is nothing you could say to me that wouldn't sound completely insane so you may as well start talking."

Accepting I wouldn't back down he groaned in pure frustration, "Do you know how the others are going to treat me once they catch sight of me?"

I couldn't help but laugh, "What do you mean? They saw you last night didn't they? C'mon, what did they say?"

Legolas looked sheepishly toward the floor, "They didn't say anything because they didn't see me."

I arched an eyebrow now skeptical of his whereabouts. God, I hope he hadn't been pulling that Edward-Twilight shit and was watching me sleep or something. "How did you avoid them?" I asked not quite sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"The forest there," he pointed through the windshield, "I walked through there last night. Elves don't exactly require sleep the way you do. I haven't seen any of my company yet."

My jaw hit the floor I know it did. Prince Legolas of Mirkwood was worried about how his friends viewed him? Huh, so people were still catty and judgmental in other dimensions. Good to know.

I had to stifle a laugh though for his sake because where it was funny he was in some kind of fragile state, "Are you serious? That's what you're all grim faced for? Holy shit, you're a fucking prince! No, you're gonna walk up to them and own your made over self!"

_ Oh my God, I'm Oprah._

"Come on," I coached, "Let's go." Stretching across him I pushed open the door. "You can't stay in here forever. It's not as bad as you think. No one's gonna think of you any different."

Never had I been so wrong in my entire life.

We hadn't even made it to the porch before Gimli tumbled out the front door. Why he was in my house without me was something I'd deal with later but I swore the dwarf about near died from laughter upon seeing Legolas.

He laughed so long and loud in the end he was red faced and mopping tears with the tip of his beard.

"Lego-Leg-Oh! Ha ha!" This was about as much as Gimli could manage before launching himself into a fresh fit of spluttering and squalling.

One by one each of Legolas' muscles clenched up. I'd seen that same stance hundreds of times in my brothers before a fist fight broke out.

If a fight broke out between the two of them I'm not sure I'd be able to stop it. Legolas would clearly have the advantage considering he was two and half times the size of Gimli. Then again what did I know? For all I know Gimli has super strength or something ridiculous like that. God, I really should watch those movies…

"Gimli, why don't you act your age?" I chided lightly.

_Really? Really Krystin? That was the best you could come up with? Mom used that on you when you were twelve. You can do better._

Taking no offense to my remark Gimli raised his eyebrows and leaned in toward us, "If I did that here, I'd be playing dead!"

"Fine by me," I concluded as I side stepped him. "Come on Legolas, I'll teach you how to order a pizza."

Legolas lingered a moment with the dwarf. Once Krystin was out of earshot he glared daggers toward Gimli, "Just wait Master Dwarf. When she has that beard of yours trimmed you won't be laughing."

Horror struck the dwarf's face as the image of clean shaven cheeks flickered before his eyes. He stroked his beard possessively as if someone was going to jump out with a pair of sheers right then and there.

Legolas crossed his arms and smirked. He mentally prided himself on the reaction he had just earned. Perfect.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" screamed Krystin from inside.

"Ohhhh, perhaps I should've warned her-" Gimli mumbled sheepishly.

"What did you do?" Legolas asked anger creeping into his steady voice. He hoisted Gimli into the air by his collar, "Gimli!"

If I didn't know any better I'd have thought a frat party went down while I was gone but instead of frat guys it was a bunch of mindless assholes otherwise known as the fellowship of the ring.

It certainly smelled like a frat party. With the broken AC and closed windows the various fumes of sweat, greasy, processed food, and the general musk of males blended together in a nasty concoction that burned my nose. Chips, cookies, and just about my entire pantry was strewn about the two adjacent rooms. Music, with a much too heavy baseline pumped freely through the stereo. The sink had been left on to run, a wall of bubbles and water threatened to overflow at any second.

Everyone froze on sight upon my entry. With no time to cover their asses all they could do was stare, wide eyed like a deer in headlights. Pippin was sprawled out unconscious on the couch, half his limbs dangling carelessly over the edge. Frodo and Sam were standing arm to arm, heads bowed in embarrassment as they should be. Aragorn and Gandalf were nowhere to be found and Merry…oh Merry.

The young Brandybuck stood shirtless atop the kitchen table, his crisp, new shirt tied haphazardly around his head. Chip crumbs of various size and color had clumped together in the patches of hair on his gargantuan feet. Inconspicuously he tried to slide a clear bottle behind his back.

With each footfall an unknown food item crunched sickeningly beneath my feet. Without a word I meandered my way through the mess of crumbs, cushions, and clothing in order to get to the sink.

The silence was deafening I swear I could hear each and every one of their hearts pounding inside their little chests. They all jumped a foot when I brought my hand down on the spigot, a metallic tinkling ringing out into the silence. I knew I had them scared. I knew this because I was using the same tactic my mama used whenever the boys and I were in trouble. She wouldn't scream and she wouldn't yell. She'd say nothing and just let us squirm a while as we awaited our fates.

"Just-" I took a deep breath and smiled at them, "what in God's name is going on here?"

Three shrill, bouncy voices launched into an explanation; hand gestures flew in attempts to act out whatever led to this, voices were changed as they tried to mimic the other people involved. To me it was all incoherent babble but one thing was discernable, "Boromir said we could…"

"Wait! Slow down! Sam what?" I inquired.

Scarlett crept into his cherub cheeks. "Well we-we were," he stammered anxiously as he rushed his words, "we were hungry having just finished today's work an' all an' you were not yet back so Boromir told us we could come in and find something to eat." His eyes darted across the room, to me, and then the floor. Scratching one foot against the other he added, "So we did."

I mulled over what he said a moment before nodding slowly, "Okaaaay," I said, "Where is Boromir now?"

In unison, three chubby hands pointed toward the bathroom. Steam rolled out from the crack between the door and the floor, the distinct fall of water from the showerhead could be heard. My stomach sank and I wanted to stamp my foot like a little kid, "Oh come on! Really? My bathroom!"

A girl's personal bathroom was her sanctuary. Everything had its place and purpose. Makeup. Tampons. It was a strict 'No guys zone.' Considering it was private everyone knew it was common sense to leave that shit alone. Who knew what Boromir was getting into! I felt nauseous just thinking about it.

Defeated, I dropped my 'tough guy-angry mom' façade and waved them off, "Eh, just go." They scurried and scrambled over one another in their beeline for the door. "Merry. Leave the tequila, would you?" I called pointedly.

The mischievous glint in his eyes quickly faded upon being discovered. Grumbling to himself he made a point of his aggravation by planting the bottle down with much more force than necessary. Looks like drama queens were another thing our two worlds had in common.

Bouncing from foot to foot and shaking my hands out to the sides I shook the remaining stress from my limbs. Warily I approached the bathroom door. You know the saying 'No one knows what goes on behind closed doors?' Pretty sure that applied here.

Hesitantly I raised a fist to knock. Rasping on the door I practically hissed, "Boromir, you get your Gondorian ass out here!"

"Sorry!" he called in response, "What?"

I rolled my shoulders back and mentally envisioned myself busting down the door like they did in all those FBI shows. Ha, now that would sure be something. Even if I could it'd be a bad idea considering now that I'd learned these guys had no respect for personal boundaries or the fact that this was MY house, the days of me peeing with the door open were over.

I knocked again, hard enough so that the pictures on the walls shook, "Get the hell out of the shower and get out here!"

He must have heard because the water shut off. Squeaky footsteps against the wet tiles made their way to the door. I stepped back as the lock clicked and rattled open.

A thick haze of steam poured out upon the door's opening, no longer confined to the four bathroom walls. It cleared after several moments revealing a very wet and very naked Boromir.

"Oh my God!" I gasped, "That's a whole lot of penis!"

Legolas burst through the front door calling for me. "Krystin! Krys-" He stopped and raised a hand in confusion, "Uh-I…Boromir!"

Boromir arched an eyebrow and laughed, completely oblivious, "What?!"

_Damn their literal minds!_

**Soooooooooo?! What'd you think? Tell me! When you guys review it makes me want to update faster cause I know you like what's happening!**

***If anyone has something they'd like to see happen, I'd be happy to write it in. Just shoot me a PM or leave a review with the idea and I'll see what I can do!***

**P.S. I probably won't be updating for awhile because finals are fast approaching!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey all! So I've been gone for about a month what with exams and all. I'm still not done with them but I managed to find time to write a chapter, sorry it's so short! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Delacus: Yes, adjusting to the modern world is quite the challenge for them. I promise more mischief'll arise from them.**

**Rorythedragon: I already have a concept for the Truth or Dare in mind. It will definitely happen!**

**Teddy bear 007: I'm still working on the cookie angle but I think that may come up in the next chapter :3**

**FreeSpiritSeeker: I'm with you on the ass kicking, let's do it!**

**Rosebud on Royal Icing: Thanks for the review and I love the name what with roses and all!**

**Rose: Here is the update, sorry for taking so long**

**Mabzasaurus: Your review has by far been my favorite since I started this story. What with everything that's been stressing me out it was a joy to read that. It actually made my night!**

**Edraithwen: Nice hearin' from you again! I'm glad you enjoy the new characteristics of the fellowship!**

**Verya Tirananniel: You asked for an update so I delivered! Hope you enjoy! :)**

Chapter Seven- Tight Asses and Memory Lane

You know those cartoons where the characters get so mad their heads explode? If mine doesn't I'll be shocked. I was livid. The smirk on Boromir's face had long since ceased to exist and he now stood before me in a state somewhere between awkward and anxious.

"I've decided I'm not dealing with this tonight," I concluded and before Boromir could react I gathered a section of his hair in my hand and yanked as I dragged him through the house. That was the one benefit of these guys having long hair: it was their own worst enemy, especially in my hands.

Boromir protested and slapped at my hand but I had him and I wasn't letting go. I pulled him down to my eye level, "If you pull a stunt like that again I'll shove my foot so far up that tight little ass of yours you won't walk right for a week!" Just as I was about to toss Boromir out I noticed someone on the porch. Quickly I pushed Boromir back and out of sight.

"Put some fucking clothes on and go out the back!" I ordered frantically. Boromir obeyed without argument and made a mad dash for the bathroom.

I peered out the window and cringed. _Fuck. As if my night couldn't get any worse._

I opened the door. Deep brown eyes glinting with amusement bored down on me.

"Evenin' Krystin," greeted Liam with a smirk.

I leaned an arm against the door frame creating a barrier between him and the house, as if it wasn't filthy enough. I mentally high fived myself for that one but on the outside I showed no signs of such emotion.

"What do you want Liam?" I asked softly.

"I came to give you your shit back," he said crudely. It was then I noticed the crushed up box wedged under his massive bicep. He dropped it into a hand and thrust it forward with such a force it knocked the wind right out of me.

"C'mon Krys," he crooned, "ain't all that work around the farm bulkin' you up at all?" He laughed and shook his head, "I wouldn't think so." He took a step closer to me and I tried my hardest not to flinch. "All those guys you just hired are doin' it all for you. How can you afford that much help anyway?" He arched an eyebrow and gave me a once over, "Unless you're payin' 'em a different way."

I scoffed and shook my head, "You're unbelievable. Just do me a favor and get the hell off my property," I was in no way prepared for a fight and I was too exhausted to endure one.

I moved to close the door but Liam pushed his hand against it holding it open and I jumped. Usually guys didn't intimidate me but Liam was a lot bigger than me.

Let me provide an analogy to help you grasp some form of concept on his size: Fiat is to me as F350 is to Liam. The guy is as wide as a truck so yeah, he made me a little twitchy.

"Liam, you need to leave," I said forcing a bit more assertion.

"Let's be honest here," he mused, "What is so great about them that you'd sell out so easily? Last I checked you were a prude. C'mon what do these lame asses have that I don't?"

He opened his mouth to continue his bombardment when a fist came from behind me punching him square across the jaw. Liam, being caught off his guard sailed backwards and fell down the steps.

Legolas stepped out onto the porch, "To answer your question, class. Us 'lame asses' have class." He glanced back at me and then to Liam who was rubbing his jaw still in shock as to what had hit him. "I suggest you leave."

Turning his back on him Legolas draped an arm around my shoulders and guided me inside, closing the door behind us. Outside Liam's truck roared to life followed by the sound of gravel flying as he tore out of the driveway.

I stood just inside the door unable to go any further. Words danced around my brain but I couldn't form them into sentences. Legolas just decked Liam. For me. No one had ever done anything like that for me, usually I was the one swingin' but this, this was different.

Legolas was bustling about the kitchen, sweeping remnants of food into a trash bag. His movements were jagged and short. A deep blue fire burned in his eyes.

I dared to speak, "Legolas?"

He said nothing, he continued on his cleaning streak. I knew that look though just like I had known the one in the car. He was ready to blow.

Moving into the kitchen I set the box of my things on the table and seized Legolas' hand. He shot me a look which instantly subsided into an almost hurt look of regret. He sighed softly, "I'm sorry."

My eyebrows came together in confusion. What did he have to apologize for? He hadn't done anything wrong. I laughed, "No, don't. Don't tell me you're sorry. What you did just then was incredible."

His brow knit together in frustration. He dropped the bag and slammed his fist down on the table causing everything on it to rattle and bounce. "How dare he?!"

I knew where he was going. I forgot to mention that chivalry was as dead as disco, "Oh Legolas, things are different here-"

"That is no excuse for his actions! In my realm women are held in high honor, they are treated with respect! The way that *insert Elvish cuss word here that I don't understand here* treated you. It's unacceptable!"

He met my eyes and his features softened, "That was the first time I'd seen you vulnerable. The first time I'd seen you afraid. I saw the way his mere presence affected you and I couldn't stand aside and let that happen. Who was he?"

I sighed and tossed my hands up. I might as well explain. "That," I paused for a bit of effect, "was Liam, my ex." Legolas looked confused. I guess they didn't have exes in Middle Earth. "We," I decided to take a chance, "courted?"

Legolas' stern frown disappeared as he sputtered and laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"You were involved with that barbarian?" he clucked his tongue and shook his head, "Oh Krystin."

I could feel the heat spreading to my cheeks. God, it was embarrassing admitting I had dated Liam. I picked up the box and moved to the couch Legolas following close in suit.

Defeated, I plopped down and unfolded the flaps. On top of everything was a fat stack of photographs. Flipping through them was a painful walk down memory lane: Liam kissing me, the two us at the 80's mixer freshmen year, him holding me…what happened to the guy he used to be?

Legolas' finger pads gingerly wiped away a tear I hadn't realized formed. His touch sent shivers down my spine and it made me miss the feeling of someone who loves you. My lips started quivering and before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Legolas pulled me and I balled like a baby into his broad chest. He was whispering words in Elvish that even though I had zero idea of what they meant, they were oddly soothing.

"God…I'm-so…" I took a breath between sobs, "fucking stupid…"

Light laughter floated down from his lips, "No." He held my face in his hands and pulled me back. Wiping my tear stained face with his thumbs he smiled reassuringly, "You're not."

Legolas tucked a stray luck of hair behind my ear, "How about you teach to me to order that...pizza was it?"

I laughed, "Yeah, let's do that." As I stood his hand slid down my back sending goosebumps up and down my arms. The only person who had been able to do that before was Liam…

_Oh my God…I think I'm fallin' for Legolas..._

**_I know this chapter lacked it's usual amount of hilarity and hijinks, please don't be mad at me! I had a bit of a stressful week and I wasn't able to think of anything clever. However now we now Krystin has a bit of a soft side and this could be the start of some Legolas-Krystin interest, how do you we feel about this? _**


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